Over the years, my hair has gone through a whole bunch of transitions. From fully natural, to always being in braids, to having damaged, broken ends, to being completely chopped off, my hair has evolved with the various stages of life that I’ve gone through. 

And now, I’m getting the urge to blow dry and potentially even straighten my hair. I haven’t had straight hair in about three full years. The last time was when I was taking graduation pictures in 2020. That’s due in part because I suffered major heat damage when trying to get perfectly silky straight strands. 

I didn’t intentionally mean to take a major break from getting my hair straightened, but I ended up prioritizing growing my hair back before I visited any hair salon or got any treatments done. 

When I was younger, my mom would keep my hair in braids because it helped my hair not tangle up as badly. I’m naturally tender headed, so there were many long evenings where she and I would be battling my hair into a style that could last a few days before having to completely redo it. My childhood memories are filled with my thick, coarse hair snapping cheap combs or pulling the comb attachment off of a blow dryer.  

I only had one hair stylist my entire life in Americus and I went to her from the time I was a young girl up until my college years. I trusted her to not pull my hair too tightly when she braided it. Even when my hair was relaxed, she was the only person putting those chemicals in my hair. And once I fully embraced the natural life, she knew how to straighten my tresses without sacrificing my curl pattern. 

Safe to say, she’s three hours away and no longer a feasible option as a regular hairstylist. There were a few times when I was home from college that I’d make an appointment for a trim and wrap, and I was reminded by how great of a job she did. She was also super affordable, which I definitely didn’t fully understand or appreciate back then. 

I went through the ugly phases of transitioning during the early years of my high school career. Looking back, I always knew the easiest and best thing was to just cut the damaged ends off so that they could grow back quicker, healthier, and stronger, but my mom was totally against me cutting my hair. I think it’s definitely a cultural thing. A lot of black women (and people in general) are totally against cutting hair despite the fact that the hair will grow back. I understand that it definitely takes a long time for it to grow back to a considerably long length, but every moment spent hanging on to dead, damaged ends prolongs that time.  

When my hair got damaged from being straightened for graduation pictures, I completely cut the dead ends off. I didn’t shave my head, but I definitely cut it lower than I’d ever want to cut it again. It was a great learning experience and one that taught me that I’m in no way, shape, or form attached to my hair as it is now. I’m willing to cut it all off if it means my hair will be healthier. 

I think that with the right nutrition and supplements, hair won’t take 5,000 years to grow back. Even now when I give myself trims, I’m sure I cut way more off than necessary, but I’m never stressed because I know in a little while, it’ll be back to its length before I cut it. 

When I was in college, I would wash my hair once a week and then twist it up. I could definitely say my hair was super healthy since it wasn’t being manipulated. My parts were never crisp so twists were great when I needed to wear a hat but I’d always undo them if I was going out and about. Recently I’ve been alternating between one puff, two puff ponytails, and just letting the fro be loose, but I’m getting the itch to see how long my hair really is. There are a few issues with that though:

1 - My hair reverts back suuuuuuper quickly. I love how silky my hair is when I first get it done, but the roots are puffed out by the fifth day (if not sooner) of having it straight. If it rains and the humidity is high, I’m done for. If my showers are too hot and steamy, my curls think it’s okay to enter the picture. If any tiny drops of water touch my straight hair, I might as well just go ahead and wash it so my hair can be one texture instead of two again. 

2 - Getting my hair straightened is time consuming. I prefer to have a fresh, clean scalp so that means washing, detangling, blow drying, and THEN straightening. My arms are screaming just from the thought of that gauntlet. I used to try and straighten my hair myself when I was younger, but I was either using the wrong tools or doing the wrong process. It never came out like the YouTube tutorials I watched before my attempt and it usually ended with me getting frustrated and just washing it again to reset my hair. 

3 - It’s summer. Which means heat, humidity, and the random evening thunderstorm. My straight hair lasts much longer with freezing temperatures outside. Straightening in the summer is one of my cardinal no’s. All that effort for me to walk outside and immediately have an afro is absurd. 

I think I want to get a blow dryer and try blowing it out at home first. If I’m able to master that, I might take it a step further and run a straightener over it. It would make trimming my hair much easier and I’ll be able to make sure my hair is mostly the same length instead of trimming unstretched hair just to find out it’s severely lopsided in one region. 

Maybe I’ll make that one of my winter initiatives. Maybe I’ll forget by then. Who knows? The best thing is that hair isn’t set in stone and it can always, always be changed based on my mood, the season, and any other special event happening in my life. 

Signed, 

Jessica Marie